Matcha Shop After Rehearsal

At the end of her life, four women looked at their faces.

NO

I just finished making a perfect plate. I put an orange and cup of matcha on a mild-mannered wooden tray. My grain is palpable in this one day. I'm unafraid of words. I can cope with anything's gaze. Nothing to negotiate when I see my mind. Our beautiful time loves to live gold-plated lives in the cloud. We feast on memory multiplied by godly hands; doing this wounding art I love you. I love living in this city with you, watching Youtube videos on the sidewalk. Don't forget me like this. Put me down. Pick that up. Place your attention on my sacrum. Sensitized and scrubbed clean my awareness only wants your clear words. I am not an object. I object. I subject. I am matcha. I love these people. No object, just flowing. Looking for something in my bag. I wonder what lives here. I wonder who lives uptown. I want you to be here. Quit being so elusive and just enter when you enter. Eat any dinner. Go be by yourself. Stand behind yourself in line. Be the line. Be an asshole in line. Don't think about dancing. Go on, we want to know. I loved dancing and seeing you these past three days. Men in beanies walk past me as I feel this way, being matcha in the matcha shop. I want you to see this work. 

I rehearsed with Amelia and Sacha for 8.5 hours in total over the course of three days in December 2023 at Pageant. We communicated at first by email, then text. We came into the studio, disinfected the space with kind opening words, learned about each other, then––seeing and opening, seeing and opening––each other. Happy to finally be in Pageant, we brought our all. Practicing a seeing that never objects brought us into closer relation with each other. We talked about all sorts of things, from performances past, to artists admired, to families, to hometowns, to days, to nights, to jobs, to apartments, to money, to experiences present. I felt at first hesitant, then quickly greedy. Drinking it all in. Sharing characters and switching roles, we pretty much basked in the indeterminacy of process and the ecstasy of being in it and the ease of turning your fucking head.