Swans

One is what it is / itself
Two is a relationship
Three is a plane

What we say will become what we will have said

Open doors that stand between you and a vast empty room. Open silent doors will reveal furry spaces like nests within our souls. Between the door and the doorknob is a system. Your hand rests at the base of mine as I think this. Your hand resting on the base of my thinking like that––all day long it exhausts me. All days are long when I’m exhausted. A hallway forms between my hand and the doorknob. Between my hand and revealing my hand. Opening doors requires of a body a soundness like an atlas. There are only incandescences now where thoughts once were. I burnt one today. You were there this time. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byLjorYeuj8&list=RDbyLjorYeuj8&start_radio=1

1.

BABY YOU ETERNAL

I’M PUT MY TRUST INSIDE OF YOUR HEART

BABY YOU ETERNAL

I KNEW I WAS FALLING IN LOVE FROM THE START

BABY YOU ETERNAL

I BEEN SLOWLY WAITING

GIRL MY HEART IS RACING

I CAN’T TELL HER NOTHING

2.

I can't tell you anything anymore. You want me in an unbalanced mental state. That which causes emotion to move.

3.

Emotion moves through me. Sears through the bones in my ribcage from front to back like a million songs.

4.

every word must be considered equally 

no pauses or gaps 

just a swell of time through leather risks

5.

I fall. This time. Plop landing into a timeless flush of rock n’ roll, gangster rap, hyperpop, IDM. Everything in me comes out. Perverts and freaks dot every corner. Your next best friend. The possibility of a life-altering roller-coaster ride of emotions. I wanted it all. Those days. This time. No words. Or cheap things. Well-earned circumstances. Done-it-yourself scenarios. A genius does the scenic design.

The Talk We Have

1—Change is the most regulating force on earth

2—You have yogurt on your face 

Winter

I AM SECRETLY PROUD OF ALL OF YOU

September 10

A chess game ends in a park where I begin to regret my choices. Gotten but for this metal in my mouth. “Love is an act of not knowing,” I think as I fight this city. Where would I rather be? No place I’d rather be. I would rather be a place. No place. To the screams of the man on the street that lasted all Sunday: I can never not hear you. This too may be love. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8iQPz_13uk&list=RDM8iQPz_13uk&start_radio=1

You knew just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for 

Someone I really could care for. When I love you it’s like invisibility, ultimity. I mean the feeling is invisible: I want you to have everything you want. Which I’m learning includes me. We are made just so under the same night, once. Springing resiliently from one thousand to the next. You don’t go on too many adventures do you? The second woman counted her dollars––palmed them like babies. Something pinwheeled touched the inside of my wrist in the Mystery section of the library. 

Forms of addressal fell away, entire worlds
You pass from one hand to the other, my hands

I step over us on my way somewhere. Redacted loosens its grip. You’ve found your vocation. My mother resorts to the microwave in her old age. Swans sing for reasons to do with design.