Giselle Mad Scene Libretto, Natalia Osipova version

An auditory signal
Everyone knows something is not as it appears
Perhaps someone
What is happening? Where is how you are? Where is who you told me you are? 
“I’m right here. Of course.” And lying, and plastic. 

I see this. 
And no
I’m soaring
I’m behind appearances where I thought you too were. 
I’m behind appearance
I am now what’s behind

I am behind reality. I’m beneath real
I’m above real. 
I’m not here
I'm not somewhere else either

I de-costume myself starting with my hair. 
I slowly turn my head and walk forward.
Seeing an entire year pass before me. 
Wringing my hands through my hair and possessing a pose for a moment
Muttering to myself everyone sees. 
Clutching my beautiful love. 
Dancing my beautiful love that love that was upward and beyond of reality. Beyond this here. Beyond my smallness
A promise lingers and I see lingers
I am lingering for a moment as you touch me. 
Then my chest remembers the promise of death 
I drag a promise along the tip of the ground and pierce myself
I sear through. Suicidally bound
I fall to the ground and take solace in someone for a moment as they lift me to my feet.
I am seeing beyond. I am seeing beyond. 
I am seeing my mother’s hands in mine.
Distracted by something above, something floating high in a parabolic shape.

It was just a bird.

Ah. Now I dance with a circle of my wrist. 
I turn and do the same dance on the other side, forming a geometry with my legs a coupé that jumps and  travels backward on a diagonal.
I turn and from b-plus tendu pas de cheval step tendu on the other side pas de cheval, step through, hand slides down and points as I speed up on this pastoral slant, a jump that halts me. I almost remembered joy. My hands clutch my chest, wrapping myself. I almost remember what’s not happening. 

Then I devour space, touching everything. Someone tries to collect me. 

I see my mother. I finally. I embrace my mother. I run to the appearance. I fall finally. 

I am finally absent. I fall into absence as the world ends around me. My absence is all I am, it’s all around me. It’s in your embrace. My absence is finally visible. I am complete in this absence. Every demand is met.