Talk

1—Change is the most regulating force on earth.

2—You have yogurt on your face.

Winter

I AM SECRETLY PROUD OF ALL OF YOU

September 10, 2024

A chess game ends in a park where I begin to regret my choices. Gotten but for this metal in my mouth. “Love is an act of not knowing,” I think as I fight this city. Where would I rather be? No place I’d rather be. I would rather be a place. I’d rather be any place. No place. To the screams of the man on the street that lasted all Sunday: I can never not hear you. This too may be love. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8iQPz_13uk&list=RDM8iQPz_13uk&start_radio=1

You knew just what I was there for. You heard me saying a prayer for 

Someone I really could care for. When I love you it’s like invisibility, ultimity. I mean the feeling is invisible: I want you to have everything you want. Which I’m learning includes me. We are made just so under the same night, once. Springing resiliently from one thousand to the next. You don’t go on too many adventures do you? The second woman counted her dollars––palmed them like babies. Something pinwheeled touched the inside of my wrist in the Mystery section of the library. Forms of addressal fell away, entire worlds. You pass from one hand to the other, my hands. I step over us on my way somewhere. Redacted loosens its grip. You’ve found your vocation. My mother resorts to the microwave in her old age. Swans sing for reasons to do with design.  

—Why do you keep doing that with your lips?
—Doing what?
—That.
—Oh I guess I'm just nervous.
—About what?
—Upstaging you.