HOW TO IMPROVISE

Empty your core

Hold onto the center

The dissolving center

VERY VULNERABLE

 i’m tired of my life

i’m scared to hear my own voice

i’m scared of here

i’m scared to know i have a voice

i’m afraid of the future

i’m afraid with the future

i’m afraid through the future

i’m afraid in the future

and everywhere

i feel like everywhere is now and here and the future

i think my family hates me

i don’t know which direction is up

i’m afraid of how much i change 

i’m afraid of change

i’m afraid of writer’s block

i’m afraid i’m writer’s block

i hate my moments

i hate my hands

i hate thinking i hate myself

i hate the thought “i hate myself”

i know the answer

i think “i know the answer”

i hate the thought “i know the answer”

i am sorry for everything i’ve done

i’m ready to leave now

not like that

i mean like go live in a monastery or something

i am afraid i’m becoming my mother

i’m afraid i’m stagnating

i’m afraid i’ll never fall in love

i’m afraid this will never change

i’m afraid i’ll always be afraid 

Thinking And Writing In The Future Perfect, Right Now

 I feel this ease. I feel like I don’t need the thing that’s superfluous. I feel at home in my body. For even my wrong choices I’m grateful. Anything is my teacher. I want to make my life glisten with wisdom, muscular from work. I will live in beautiful places and feel real love all around me. I won’t need anything. Everything will be in its place. I don’t need you. I will live earned this life. I will live a glamorous life, to me. I will have worked hard to understand what “impossible” truly means. I will have experimented deeply and inquired at every juncture. I will have folded and imagined. My questions will have made me. 

International women’s day

Everyday in the world today is a day